by G. Brown
It’s one of those celeb tidbits you rather stayed a secret. But rapper/actor T.I. felt compelled to share with the world and so now we all know that he follows his daughter to gynecological visits to check her hymen and make sure she is still a virgin.
If that statement from T.I. makes you uncomfortable, then know you’re not the only one. Apparently, even the daughter’s gynecologist is not at ease with the topic as described in the following exchange on one of their visits. T.I. says, “We’ll go and sit down and the doctor comes and talk, and the doctor’s maintaining a high level of professionalism…he’s like, ‘You know, sir, I have to, in order to share information’–I’m like, ‘Deyjah, they want you to sign this so we can share information. Is there anything you would not want me to know? See, Doc? Ain’t no problem.'”
Trust me…everything you could possibly be thinking in reaction to this news nugget has already been expressed in some variation on social media.
It’s a distasteful topic, but perhaps the best example of how girls are mistreated and subjected to appalling standards of sexual purity while boys are encouraged to sew their oats and applauded for promiscuity.
T.I. says he pushed for the tests for his daughter even when the doctor tried to explain all the activities such as gymnastics or horseback riding that could yield false results. T.I. also says he doesn’t apply the same standards to testing his 15-year old son’s virgin status who he confirmed to already be sexually active and says he’s OK with that.
While T.I.’s admission of virginity testing his daughter is alarming to many, it’s apparently not uncommon. Rolling Stone says “according to a 2016 survey of 288 physicians, 10% responded that they had been asked by a parent or a family member to perform the two-finger test on a patient, and 34% said they had performed it themselves (though many physicians interviewed by Marie Claire said they had lied to parents about the results, for fear of endangering the patient.)
Those are U.S. stats. In certain countries, virginity testing has been condemned by the and World Health Organization as “a violation of the human rights of girls and women, and can be detrimental to women’s and girls’ physical, psychological and social well-being.” Some countries would even stone young girls to death when they failed the hymen test–a test that even experts agree can have dubious results.
T.I. may think he’s protecting his daughter in some form, but he’s probably doing more damage to her psychologically by subjecting her to this type of humiliation and abject cruelty.
The double standard he’s creating by demanding his daughter remains sexually pure while encouraging or at least supporting his son to do the opposite is creating daddy issues that can hound his daughter for the rest of her life.
Parents always want to see their daughters as little princesses we need to protect from a world full of big bad wolves. But that’s a fairytale trope as archaic as prima nocta.
A better way to prepare children for sexual maturity is to arm them with knowledge about the consequences and potential dangers. Trust them to make the right decisions and pray they do. Trying to keep them chaste by humiliating them isn’t helping them. Why not invest in a chastity belt…it’s equally as barbaric and medieval. It’s also just as humiliating and misogynistic.