Jennifer Hudson, Tamar: Celebs Caught in the Web of Domestic Violence
by TRN Staff Writers,
Jennifer Hudson went to court to seek protection against the man she loved and expected to marry. The Academy Award winning actress and singer took out an of protection against former fiance and pro wrestler David Otunga saying his past behavior leaves her afraid he might physically harm her.
Hudson was awarded the order of protection on Thursday after telling the court that Otunga has shown “aggressive, threatening and harassing behavior” towards her. Hudson shared stories of incidents with the court including once when she said the father of her son shoved her out of their master suite. The “Dreamgirls” actress also told the court, “I am now living in fear of further action David might take.”
Hudson’s story echoes eery details of a similar story surrounding singer and former talk show host Tamar Braxton. The “Love and War” singer filed for divorce just last month from husband of nine years Vince Herbert. Tamar has never spoken of domestic abuse, but her mom Evelyn says the couple had a very hostile union. Braxton told Essence Magazine, “Enough is enough. I don’t care how much they smile. I don’t care how much they pretend.” The Braxton matriarch continued saying, “Her sisters have been trying to fight Vince for a long time but it was always denied… If anything happens to Tamar, that’s Logan’s loss. That’s my loss. That’s her family’s loss. I don’t want that kind of pain.”
People are usually shocked to hear when women revered for their talent, power and often their beauty are enduring life threatening situations at the hands of the men they love. Celebrity, beauty and fortune are no safeguards against domestic violence. According to national statistics on domestic violence every minute, 2o people are being abused by an intimate partner. Domestic violence is so prevalent in our society that at least 1 out 3 women and 1 out of 4 men will experience some kind of physical violence from an intimate partner during their lifetime.
The disease of domestic violence strikes Hollywood like the rest of America. Actress Robin Givens says she was abused by ex-husband heavy weight boxing champion Mike Tyson. Hip hop singer Michel’le’s fans were stunned to hear her claims that former lover and manager Dre. Dre beat her so badly that she required reconstructive surgery. And viewers gasped over the knock out blow that former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice delivered to then girlfriend Janay Palmer. An elevator camera at the New Jersey casino showed the world how quickly love can turn to violence in a heated argument. Rice was arrested and Janay would not only forgive him, but go on to marry him months later.
The reason men abuse the women they claim to love often boils down to control. The abusive partner(and sometimes women who are the abusers) is trying to gain or retain control in the relationship. But the reason why women remain in those relationships is much harder to identify. It can be a matter of finances, guilt, shame, brain washing, depression, delusion, a multitude of other reasons and/or a combination of them all.
One thing experts agree on, abuse will thrive where we allow it to hide in the shadows of silence. If your sister, daughter or friend is being abused and you know about it, try to reach the victim and encourage them to seek help. Confronting the abuser is not the answer and may actuallymake things worse for the victim. Help them to get professional assistance whether that’s the law, courts or mental health professional. A good place to start is the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233.
It’s a long road to healing, but not an impossible journey.