by G. Brown
Turkey…check. Stuffing…check. Macronie and cheese…check. Bologna cake …WTF? Yep…it’s that time of year when people try to perfect the traditional meal by kicking it up a notch with some not-so-traditional original creations. The end results may not make your mouth water, but those recipes make for a hilarious thread on Twitter.
Maya Kosoff started the lunacy with a simple post asking people to share their “weird inexplicable retro family recipes that end up on your Thanksgiving table per tradition or nostalgia or whatever.” And chile…Rachel Ray couldn’t cook up dishes this deliciously funny.
Don’t believe me…sample some of the tasteless dishes starting with @mekosoff who gave us the first entry…
No Maya…a seafoam salad is not normal though it is pretty as a table display. But don’t feel bad, you aren’t the only one to suffer from dishes that we make us all thankful that we don’t have to eat them.
Ok, I’m not a chef or even a sous chef, but I know ‘tomato’ and ‘soup’ have no business being mixed in with the word ‘cake’.
This next dish violates several laws of nature. First, it’s described as both a salad and a dessert–that’s your first clue something’s off when it simultaneously fits into several food groups. Second, it’s named-“Dragon Barf”. A dish with the word ‘barf’ in it doesn’t make you run to the table even if you’re Targaryen and only there for the dragon.
We don’t have to eat this anymore because the old bitch is thankfully dead (she sucked) but my paternal grandma always brought a Coca-Cola jello salad very similar to this https://t.co/6AV98USPzG
— Amanda Mull (@amandamull) November 23, 2019
Some of the worst dishes are best served without nauseating photos…
God knows why my grandmother from Alabama insisted on creoled eggs. Sliced boiled eggs smothered in Campbell’s tomato soup topped with bacon.
— Dog. Beer. Rinse. Repeat (@Andy_Langston) November 23, 2019
Yum is not the word that comes to mind. And it’s not the worst thing we came across in this thread. We saved the best for last. Drum roll please because this dish posted m @jaymesPRS takes the cake…
Boyfriend made this for my family’s Thanksgiving last year. It’s a bologna cake with ranch cream cheese icing. It was pretty good. pic.twitter.com/uNLblLvI9n
— HOMODEMON🏳️🌈💀 (@jaymesPRS) November 23, 2019
HOMODEMON should run a background check on that boyfriend because I’m pretty sure he was trying to poison your family gurl. The bologna is only upstaged by the cheese in a can frosting that he had the nerve to get fancy with and make into squiggly lines. Presentation is everything so he topped it off by adding a bed of Ritz crackers!
Folks this holiday comes once a year. Even if the turkey is beautifully brown on the outside and still frozen on the inside and the sweet potato pie is pure slush if you’re surrounded by family and people who love you remember to give thanks. And pray everyone cooking reads these threads and not repeat these horrors.
Happy Thanksgiving and bon appétit!