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Sexual Healing: Does Loving Sex Make You A Bad Person?

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By Dontrail Detroit

Growing up in a house full of women and raised by my very Christian grandmother, the picture often painted about a woman’s image or at least the model image is pristine. In a book that I am writing, “About That Life” I bring up the aphorism fake it til you make as one of the most clever aphorism ever. Here, it applies in the sense of hiding your “hoe’ism” til you are loved, liked, and even to the point that you are able to get married. He loves you now ( and you truly are a hoe with every fiber in your body, and now you can show it). This appears to be the format of how things are supposed to go. For those of us that are religious, this is a far cry from the image of the Virgin Mary that we have been told about. After all, no one touched her and she conceived, so we know self-pleasure wouldn’t be an issue. She wasn’t even deflowered for the birth of Jesus, that’s saying a ton.
However, with the Virgin Mary being the outlier, humans have a natural inclination and fundamental need to have sex, somehow, some way, with someone and or something/things. Especially women. Fast forward to life now, with experiences, at 34 years of age, women are sexual. Women, unless they are Asexual, posses fantasies that men and other women consider ways of a hoeish world. Now, for me personally, nothing about sex is bad. Men like when women do hoeish things to them; after all men and women are having very good and dirty sex with…… well, men and women. What makes ‘hoe’ish’ things bad is the breaking of boundaries. Women think their reputation will be slandered for what they are doing as opposed to the how and why of what they did. Women have a rule, of “ Tell me up front and let me deal with it.” Men are the same way sexually. Tell us up front who you are sexually, more so from your desires. A woman wouldn’t want to be lied too, and neither does a man. A man that lies and says he is faithful is hard to deal with and not respected, but a man that gives you the truth up front is loved and endeared. Women will usually do it anyway if they truly want you. Well ladies, men and those that like you, (in case you’re lesbian) Feel the same exact way. Men don’t like to date the world’s perception without the underlying truth. Men love the teacher and or the innocent looking woman that is “ faking it until she makes it”….. to the bedroom that is. Now every man’s cup of tea is different, and we all know that sex lands on a very large spectrum. The point is, being a hoe is the part of our sexual DNA and the part of getting you out of them jeans or dress, that he raves about secretly to himself and maybe his closest friends. It’s not the super freaky things you want that will get a woman shamed, its her desire to create an illusion to the person she is doing it with and going outside of the boundaries and confines yall set up front.
Let me say this also. People change, and people are not what they used to be and or become more or something that they never were. It’s vital to bring these changes to light when you know about them. We know now in this age, men talk and it’s a small world. Ladies, you outnumber us, so it’s a great possibility we know someone that knows you. If you used to be a freak, but aren’t anymore, say that in the beginning. Over time, things come out, and most men will feel slighted because they want that hoe that you gave to another man, other than that, he feels less than. Just as you would if someone else knows your man as an honest man cuz he was real, but he told you, he doesn’t believe in brutal honesty anymore or with you.
A hoe isn’t a woman that is overtly sexual or even promiscuous. A hoe is dishonest and misleading and ruins happy homes, unncessarily with no true feelings for anyone but his or herself as they ruin happy homes. Men aren’t affected by the term, because its known we like sex, and want to do it. Women shy away from their sexual prowess. A man wants to earn it, and he wants to feel special, in other ways, and sex isn’t always the most important. Being a good personal hoe to your husband/boyfriend/partner alone isn’t necessarily enough if other things are not in order; but providing they are, it’s the trump card. So find you a partner, or just be honest about who you are, when you deal with someone on that level and you should be able to be the best and the most unapologetic hoe you can be. I’ve always been honest about being bad, you should too.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    NBA is fixed

    May 11, 2019 at 6:55 pm

    Sistas please listen up, successful men do not buy used cars and they do not want to marry a used woman. If your goal is to marry a rich, successful alpha black male, I have three words for you; virgin until marriage. That means no sex, no kissing no nothing.

  2. Avatar

    Shawn J.

    May 10, 2019 at 6:27 pm

    No comment

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